Well, that’s what they say right ? ..save the best for last ? Last weekend I made the announcement that I will quit designing. It is a decision I have thought a lot of last weeks and due the many events happened, the overflow of comments, peoples opinions and the feeling I can’t come out of a spiral of negativity… it was the best option I could chose. Many said that creativity and designing is part of being me, it has to come out and it eventually will. But if that part of you turns in something negative, will you still let it come out ?
I feel I have worked like crazy last two years, put a lot aside and put a lot of effort in getting a bunch of designs out to enjoy. Sometimes just one pattern can take up to months to make it the best possible and I think people often don’t realize the work it cost you. When that amount of work delivers you joy and hapiness it is fine, but once this balance is gone I feel you have to make a decision. That’s why I decided to quit. With it I have to say….never say never. I can never promise I will get the feeling back to design or create something, but right at this moment I think the focus on me, my name and my work only has a negative feed as I am only recognized like the man with his canceled CAL. I feel it needs time to let this all flow away and create a clean slate. And when it is there I can’t say if I still want to pick up the design part again. And if I would be able to do it in the same way as I always did. Questions for later probably. And don’t worry, I won’t stop crocheting, I only stop designing.
But saying this all…of course I have some munition left to fire with as I always worked up ahead with my patterns. I promised a list of releases for my last patterns which were already in progress. These ones will be finished and released over the next months. The people who worked on this by my side deserve the attention and input as well. And honestly, I really think the last ones are the best ones. I love each and every single one of these as they all have a special meaning to me. So don’t worry, I still got you covered for a while. Here is the list :
Alegria : This amazing cushion pattern with as head center a twelve-pointed star is a real highlight on your couch or bed when you make it. It is made with Scheepjes Softfun which is a pretty heavy weighted yarn which gives the pattern the look it needs. I created two color versions and as you can see you only need two colors of yarn for this pattern. This is the first release planned on the first of March this year.
The Kyoto Wrap : This is my first pattern made with Scheepjes Whirl Fine Art. However this wrap will be pretty expensive made with this yarn, so I also added cheaper options in the pattern – as well different weigths for different seasons. The Kyoto wrap will be a free pattern which will be released on March 20th – which would have been the original start date for the Spice Market CAL. To cover away the shadow of that day I will bring this pattern out in the open.
Sadako’s Blanket : A design you all have seen parts of already and shown here in full glory. This blanket and design is really special to me. I already told a part of the story around it on my social media, but the pattern will fill you in on more details. This blanket is made with a Scheepjes Cahlista colorpack which delivers this stunning rainbow view. However, the pattern will also hold notes to just use two colors, for example a gradient one and a single colored one. This pattern will be released somewhere in April 2020.
Nirvana mandala : Yes ! Also a new mandala pattern which can be extended as big and weidth as you like. This photo is only a progress shot as official photos haven’t been taken yet, but this pattern will let you dazzle and create a explosion of colors. Curious about the name ?….some of you who went to India might know what Rangoli is. Knowing that will also explain this pattern. The pattern is scheduled for May 2020.
However, at June 2020 that will be the moment when I close off the design chapter. I continue crochet on some personal projects. But I will also tell more about that at that moment. It is most of all a break from all of this. In that break I want to explore if I can get my crojo back to this or not. That’s why I clearly state to quit as a I won’t make any promises and there will be no expectations.
I want to close off with some music. I never could have thought I would make this decision, spreading out my last work and put it all to a end. A few years ago I was so driven to get out here and show what I could. It is a well known thing that once you try to reach the top you will catch some winds on your way and might fall down once or twice. But I thought in such a harmless and loving world as crochet this would never be the case. A stupid fool i was to belief that…the crochet world is also a reflection of our world with all in it. And we live in a world full of hate, anger and jealousy. Everything is spread like a stain of oil in a minute with social media and people often forget that a virtual insult is as hard as saying it straight in the face of a person. This all have made me stronger, but on the other side it broke me completely down.
I really can’t tell the name of the person who reached out to me a few weeks ago telling me this song strongly reminded her of my situation at that moment. ( in the meantime I know it was Robin Helen Barton ) I didn’t knew it and I listened it for the very first time. From that moment it became my anthem as this song tells the exact reason why I made this decision in first place. And for that reason I want to close this release list with this song.
Mark a.k.a The Guy with the Hook