Well, that’s what they say right ? ..save the best for last ? Last weekend I made the announcement that I will quit designing. It is a decision I have thought a lot of last weeks and due the many events happened, the overflow of comments, peoples opinions and the feeling I can’t come out of a spiral of negativity… it was the best option I could chose. Many said that creativity and designing is part of being me, it has to come out and it eventually will. But if that part of you turns in something negative, will you still let it come out ?
I feel I have worked like crazy last two years, put a lot aside and put a lot of effort in getting a bunch of designs out to enjoy. Sometimes just one pattern can take up to months to make it the best possible and I think people often don’t realize the work it cost you. When that amount of work delivers you joy and hapiness it is fine, but once this balance is gone I feel you have to make a decision. That’s why I decided to quit. With it I have to say….never say never. I can never promise I will get the feeling back to design or create something, but right at this moment I think the focus on me, my name and my work only has a negative feed as I am only recognized like the man with his canceled CAL. I feel it needs time to let this all flow away and create a clean slate. And when it is there I can’t say if I still want to pick up the design part again. And if I would be able to do it in the same way as I always did. Questions for later probably. And don’t worry, I won’t stop crocheting, I only stop designing.
But saying this all…of course I have some munition left to fire with as I always worked up ahead with my patterns. I promised a list of releases for my last patterns which were already in progress. These ones will be finished and released over the next months. The people who worked on this by my side deserve the attention and input as well. And honestly, I really think the last ones are the best ones. I love each and every single one of these as they all have a special meaning to me. So don’t worry, I still got you covered for a while. Here is the list :
Alegria : This amazing cushion pattern with as head center a twelve-pointed star is a real highlight on your couch or bed when you make it. It is made with Scheepjes Softfun which is a pretty heavy weighted yarn which gives the pattern the look it needs. I created two color versions and as you can see you only need two colors of yarn for this pattern. This is the first release planned on the first of March this year.
The Kyoto Wrap : This is my first pattern made with Scheepjes Whirl Fine Art. However this wrap will be pretty expensive made with this yarn, so I also added cheaper options in the pattern – as well different weigths for different seasons. The Kyoto wrap will be a free pattern which will be released on March 20th – which would have been the original start date for the Spice Market CAL. To cover away the shadow of that day I will bring this pattern out in the open.
Sadako’s Blanket : A design you all have seen parts of already and shown here in full glory. This blanket and design is really special to me. I already told a part of the story around it on my social media, but the pattern will fill you in on more details. This blanket is made with a Scheepjes Cahlista colorpack which delivers this stunning rainbow view. However, the pattern will also hold notes to just use two colors, for example a gradient one and a single colored one. This pattern will be released somewhere in April 2020.
Nirvana mandala : Yes ! Also a new mandala pattern which can be extended as big and weidth as you like. This photo is only a progress shot as official photos haven’t been taken yet, but this pattern will let you dazzle and create a explosion of colors. Curious about the name ?….some of you who went to India might know what Rangoli is. Knowing that will also explain this pattern. The pattern is scheduled for May 2020.
However, at June 2020 that will be the moment when I close off the design chapter. I continue crochet on some personal projects. But I will also tell more about that at that moment. It is most of all a break from all of this. In that break I want to explore if I can get my crojo back to this or not. That’s why I clearly state to quit as a I won’t make any promises and there will be no expectations.
I want to close off with some music. I never could have thought I would make this decision, spreading out my last work and put it all to a end. A few years ago I was so driven to get out here and show what I could. It is a well known thing that once you try to reach the top you will catch some winds on your way and might fall down once or twice. But I thought in such a harmless and loving world as crochet this would never be the case. A stupid fool i was to belief that…the crochet world is also a reflection of our world with all in it. And we live in a world full of hate, anger and jealousy. Everything is spread like a stain of oil in a minute with social media and people often forget that a virtual insult is as hard as saying it straight in the face of a person. This all have made me stronger, but on the other side it broke me completely down.
I really can’t tell the name of the person who reached out to me a few weeks ago telling me this song strongly reminded her of my situation at that moment. ( in the meantime I know it was Robin Helen Barton ) I didn’t knew it and I listened it for the very first time. From that moment it became my anthem as this song tells the exact reason why I made this decision in first place. And for that reason I want to close this release list with this song.
Mark a.k.a The Guy with the Hook
Zo jammer dat iemand met zo ontzettend veel talent het leven en werken onmogelijk word gemaakt
Heb zelfs een beetje last van plaatsvervangende schaamte…
Ik wens je héél veel geluk en creativiteit…ook zonder het ontwerpen van haak patronen
Vond het juist zo gaaf… eindelijk een mannelijke ontwerper…jammer dat het allemaal zo heeft moeten lopen
Een hele DIKKE KNUFFEL van Monique
Een trouwe volger…💖💖💖
Hi Mark I also saw the reaction with this very touching song. It was from Robin Helen Barton.
Thanks I will add it right away.
Sorry it should be Robin Heller Barton . Sorry for the typo!
Amazing song – thank you for sharing that here. It is very sad to see you end your designing journey and I wish your next journey is filled with love, hope and happiness. Thanking you for your amazing patterns.
Tuurlijk blijf jij ontwerpen en creeëren. Je bent een echte kunstenaar. Maar de valkuil voor getalenteerde mensen zoals jij is dat je jezelf gaat opjagen of laat opjagen door anderen. En dan knap je vroeger of later af en verlies je de vreugde van het creeëren. Probeer jezelf geen targets op te leggen maar laat het creatieve proces zijn eigen ritme volgen.
Net zoals broodbakken zijn eigen ritme heeft. Het mengen, het rijzen, het bakken, het afkoelen. Dat kun je ook niet manipuleren, dat heeft zijn eigen ritme.
Dus zoek je eigen ritme, luister goed wat je hart je zegt, dat weet wat goed voor je is.
Ik las laatst, “kritiek is goed voor het ego”.
En misschien is dat zo want je ego is een slechte raadgever, je hart daarentegen de beste.
Het ego wil succes, erkenning, gouden bergen, maar dat brengt allemaal geen vreugde.
Echte vreugde vind je als je alleen bent met je garen, je haaknaald, het idee en het kunstwerk dat uit zichzelf ontstaat uit jouw handen. Koester die gave van je.
Hello, I only recently discovered your page of patterns and I have to say I love them! I wish I had time to make them all. I am eagerly awaiting the new patterns you are going to release. Thanks Marie Kooima
Thank you so much for what you have given the crochet community Mark. Again, I am so sorry to hear that you have experienced anything less than loving support but I guess that that is how life is sometimes, which is really sad. I LOVE the work that you do and whenever you decide to return to designing, there will be so many of us who will be happy little veggiemites !! Until then we will watch and admire your personal projects. Much love and hugs xox
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Een verlies voor al je trouwe volgers. Prachtig zijn je ontwerpen! Maar neem je tijd en geniet van de goede dingen uit het leven! Je hebt je passie het met ons gedeeld en ik haak met veel plezier inmiddels mijn vierde patroon van jou! Denk maar aan het feit, dat als ik trots over mijn werkstuk aai, deze liefkozing ook bedoelt is voor jou! Bedankt en heel veel liefs, ik ben trots op je. En ik weet zeker dat er heel veel mensen met mij dit ook op jou zijn, veel liefs 😘
Wishing you a rejuvenating break. I’m sad to see you go as I’ve been watching another man crocheting up your pattern….now I have to go buy it for future 😁 before it disappears.
Please what is the song? X Christina
Thank you ! Well the patterns are not disappearing so don’t worry about that. They just stay where they are. The song is called : The Joke by Brandi Carlile.
Wow, wow, wow….just listened to the song. What incredible lyrics!
Bought the pattern…just to be sure it doesn’t get lost 😁.
From one crocheting man to another:
Please stay out there, keep making new designs from time to time and stay positive.
I know some people have no decorum on the internet and perhaps not even IRL. They have all kinds of opinions they need to share – most often negative ones. But they are just other people’s opinions nothing more and they are irrelevant.
I don’t know you and I haven’t followed the situation as it unfolded but I understand that the comments became very (and too) personal. I guess you and I may have something in common crochet- and otherwise. 😉 And for some reason that is still aggravating to some people.
I have a philosophy I would like to share with you – the way I deal with negativity.
I see all the BS people want to unload on me as gifts they present but nowhere does it say I have to accept them. So I simply say Thank you for sharing your opinion but no thanks I can’t use it so you may keep it.
Most people are silenced that way although a few are to stupid to understand. 🙄
Well, all I wanted to say was that it’s a shame that you won’t let your talent bloom. Because what I see in your designs is great talent and a sense of aesthetics.
Take care and crochet on…
I’m sorry to read that you’ll take a break from designing. I’ve just discovered your designs today through Ravelry and enjoyed seeing your patterns and colors!
I do not know what happened – it is very sad that there are people who don’t respect the _humans_ who stand behind blogs, social media accounts etc. I compare such “storms” sometimes with grasshoppers: they gather and descend on a blog post (or whatever) – leave after a while because there is another theme they can work on and… never look back onto those they leave behind.
The internet could be such a wonderful place if we saw it as a means to communicate friendly with each other being able to relax from our “real lifes”.
I hope you’ll find your inner strength back, soon. In the meantime I am going to read more and explore your patterns.